By Jimena Pitillas Boyé
The first few days at university for new students, whether first-years, transfers, or exchange students, can be emotionally intense. New place, new subjects, new faces. It can feel like walking into a party where everybody already knows each other except you. That may lead to all sorts of questions: Will I make friends? Will I fit in? Can I be accepted for who I am?
Beginnings can be tough. New students often express feelings of shyness, anxiety, curiosity, and fear of being rejected. A cocktail of emotions, where excitement mixes with uncertainty and self-doubt. Can you remember those exact feelings you experienced on your first day at university?
While some students like Tinashe Ryan Mtetwa, an Endicott transfer student, felt content and calm, other students like Francisca de Lluc, a Spanish transfer student, expressed feeling very nervous, fearing being alone and worried about the new subjects. “I’m not going to make any friends” and “Classes are going to be too hard,” were some of her first thoughts.
These kinds of thoughts are totally normal when facing a new challenge or starting in a brand new place. Furthermore, some students carry the weight of past experiences that perhaps did not go as expected, making it harder for them to leave their fears aside. “My university experience last year was not great, so I was feeling very scared about how this year would go,” said Francisca.
As inevitable as these fears are, having someone to share your feelings and thoughts with can undeniably help and improve your experience, serving as a support system. Nevertheless, as ideal as that is, making friends during the first days can be hard. “I was trying to find where I belonged, seeing where I would fit in and be comfortable,” said Tinashe.
Some students hesitate to approach others; they don’t see themselves capable of reaching out, worried about how the other person may react and scared of being judged. Personality traits play a key role in taking this step. However, no matter how extroverted you may be, it is always appreciated when someone comes up to you and makes you feel seen. “Even though I am a very open person, the fact that people came to speak with me helped me to better integrate into new groups,” said Martín Gómez, a first-year student.
Unfortunately, not everyone is approached by others or immediately included in a specific group. Students who feel excluded may struggle to engage socially or to perform well academically, adding difficulties to their learning experience. “When you feel included, you will most likely participate more and be more open to share your own viewpoints and ideas in front of the class,” said Eva Nordenstedt, Professor in the Department of International Studies.
That is why “Joining the Language Exchange Program, the CIS University Ambassador Program, or any other CIS University Club, is a very important and helpful way for new students to meet others because it creates a natural environment to find peers with shared interests and provides opportunities to build lifelong friendships and professional networks,” expressed Lola Colomina, Professor in the Department of Modern Languages and Literature.
Inclusion does not require grand gestures, it starts with noticing others, even just with a small act of kindness. Small gestures like an invitation, a smile, a shared laugh, carry more weight than many of us can sometimes imagine.
So what can we do? “If you see new faces, go and introduce yourself,” said Martín. “Offer your help and give them advice about how the university works,” added Professor Nordenstedt. “Be that person who introduces a new student to the rest of your group,” concluded Tinashe.
Treat others the way you would have liked to be treated. Because every quiet face is someone hoping to be welcomed.